Saturday, November 08, 2008

जाने भी दो यारों, मगर कैसे?



वो
subtitles की editing
वो घटिया विडियो quality
वो बीस अदाकारों की फिक्सिंग
वो डिमेलो की ऑडिशन
कहते हैं सब, जाने भी दो
मगर कैसे?

वो आईटम का मौक कैट
वो लाइटर के पिद्दी जोक
वो सादे पन्ने छापता फोटो स्टैट
वो स्क्रिप्ट की मिस्सिंग लाइन्स
कहते हैं सब, जाने भी दो
मगर कैसे?

वो वर्क डन की मेमोरी
वो जुगा की peeing practice
वो शॉर्ट फ़िल्म की स्टोरी
वो १० जीबी की मानसा
कहते हैं सब, जाने भी दो
मगर कैसे?

वो नम्पू की म्यूजिक
वो साइड प्रो की प्रोडक्शन
वो आयूष की बॉम्बे ट्रिप
वो माँ का busy फ़ोन
कहते हैं सब, जाने भी दो
मगर कैसे?

वो कॉमन रूम का फूटर मैच
वो रौनक के चलने का स्टाइल
वो ऑलरेडी बुक्ड एम ए बैच
वो कॉन्डम की औरकुट डेटिंग
कहते हैं सब, जाने भी दो
मगर कैसे?

वो १९८० के हिन्दी पी जे
वो मैक्स पी की एक्टिंग
वो हम होंगे कामयाब ड़ी जे
वो नौडी की स्वीट वॉयस
कहते हैं सब, जाने भी दो
मगर कैसे?

वो रसीले की एन्थु ट्रेनिंग
वो जुगे की ब्लैंक ऍक्स्प्रॅशन
वो सरिया की न्यूज़ रीडिंग
वो अधूरे कास्ट की प्रैक्टिस
कहते हैं सब, जाने भी दो
मगर कैसे?

वो मेरी फालतू एडेप्टेशन-डायरेक्शन
वो लक्ष्मीबाई के चांटे चांटे चांटे
वो पांचों अँगुलियों की प्रोजेक्शन
वो दिन में दिखते तारे
कहते हैं सब, जाने भी दो
मगर कैसे?

All those who have been a part of this real life drama will always remain an integral part of my life. All those moments of laughter, confidence, humiliation, dreams, naps, slaps - I shall cherish forever. Thanks for making my IIT life so memorable, so emotional, so fun-filled and so spirited.
Victory and defeat keep coming turn by turn. But the moments we lived together are here to stay in my heart. Love for the hostel, love for friends, love for team-mates, love for a sincere effort, love for a dream, love for trying out something new and unexplored, love for the cats, love for MA jokes - all in a play's work. Is it true love? Surely, you're joking Mother Teresa!

Friday, November 07, 2008

DhaiAakharPremKa 110

Against: True Love is a Farce

To have common standards, I consider the wikipedia definition of love i.e. emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection.

Now, my assumption about true love is as follows: true love is love that exists till at least as long as the people involved live.It doesn't need to be a two-way traffic. True love can exist only in one heart without the object of love reciprocating it. I don't consider love of an object or a goal to be true love because as soon as one achieves the desired object or goal, there is a discontinuity in love.

Now let's not look at stories of Jehangir-NoorJahan or Romeo-Juliet or Ducky-Size for true love. They are far too melodramatic, exaggerated and blown out of proportion, besides I don't have the statistics about how often or to what dimensions they are blown. But the evidence I have is none other but your mother. No matter how dastardly and bastardly mistakes you commit in your life, you are still loved by your mother till life permits. Let me submit to the house that true love not just exists but empowers those who experience it. How many of you have seen Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham? If Hrithik Roshan can hit a six by remembering Abhishek Bachchan's parents, imagine what all you can do by remembering your own parents? CAT aspirants, are you listening?

My partner mentioned that even if your mother had some chunnu-munnu instead of you, she would have loved him as much as she loves you. And it just doesn't matter who the mother is or who the son is. Let's analyze the problem in detail. Let's say we have a mother-exchange having n mothers and a daughter exchange having n daughters (I'm a feminist you know) and one daughter maps to one mother and vice-versa. So how many permutations are possible? Factorial n? MA junta, correct me if I'm wrong. So in all those factorial n arrangements, mothers truly love their daughters. So, the point is, this whole fuss about mother exchanges and daughter exchanges is just Maya. Remember all the world's a stage? Somebody up there is playing games with you you know and in all those games you are a subject or object of true love. So we just proved that true love is not a farce, it is a force that exists in all the events which the Holy dice results in.

With the MA program's induction, love's already in the air. The only challenge is can you make that love stand out as true love? May the force be with you.

Conclusion: All my co-speakers who feel that true love is a farce can feel free to dial home and talk to mommy about true love. She will have all the answers to your complaints about her love not being true. And if you are fortunate enough, even your father, brother and sister should be able to pacify you. For those of you who are still whining, there is the Guidance & Counselling Unit of IIT Madras. We can get you some professional help as well.

Brought to you by www.GyaanBaatoRe.com

P.S. Life's all about learning and I've learnt recently that if a joke hurts some just to make others laugh who will anyway laugh on even worse jokes, something's wrong. If anyone is hurt even slightly because of any of the PJs, please let me know. I shall ensure that there are no more pinching jokes not just from me, but from people around me as well. Although I try my best to have healthy humour in whatever rare cases I have a sense of humour.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Beautiful

One of the most beautiful things I've come across recently http://www.jaagore.com/main.php

TOI Front Page

Apropos "Chillax! You're at the insti", it is indeed baffling to see an article on a topic like this on the front page of the esteemed TOI. In times when the whole nation is alert with an anti-terror helpline and children are being inspired by the death-defying and death-embracing feats of our brave cops, who in the whole city can be interested in knowing what dialect some geeks at Adyar use to communicate with each other, unless it is some form of obfuscated secret code that some anti-terrorist squad disguised as IITians uses to track the crime incidents in the city? The power of the front page lies in reporting news that awaken the readers. A trend or lifestyle article capturing a few hundreds of students which does not affect the rest of the city or the country in any way can rest in peace in the rest of the pages. A bunch of IITians is no substitute for page 3 celebrities that often land up on the first page too. It's an embarrassing comparison, perhaps, both ways. If the readers like to see a mixed bag on the front page, there are other promising initiatives going on in the green land of the geeks which they find worth pursuing.

- Someone at the insti

Friday, September 19, 2008

Yesternight's GTalk Status

काली रात की कशिश
कवि की कल्पना
कहीं स्ट्रीटलाईट की चकाचौंध
कहीं कलियों का सपना
क्यूं बंद नहीं होता
पलकों का झपकना
कम्बख्त नींद नहीं आती
क्या कोई जाग रहा अपना

- कबूतर-कबूतरी-कवितायें@टाईमपास.कॉम

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Cute Quote


Alcohol is not my cup of tea. No, I don't drink tea either.
- VIRGINEER TO HIMSELF IN A PUB. HE CAME HE SAW THE MENU PRICES HE RAN AWAY.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Feel Good

Two years of investment and I have got that feeling of being able to think creatively on the sands of leadership and management. More specifically, I have focussed on personal management, team management, and leadership, both by example and by HR tools. The learning process involved reading the best stories and applying some of the best practices with new toppings. Recently, for the first time, I could get tasks done by a team instead of ending up doing myself. Throughout the thinking process till now, I have been following some principles that emanate right from the heart. Gut needs trust to thrive and so I believe in those unproved clouds of thoughts. Yesterday, I came across a wonderful bestseller and the book had it all the same. It just cut open my core and showed me how to value it more. It's called 'Seven Habits of Highly Effective People'. Highly recommended. The first spark of thought on reading the masterpiece is that the right path is indeed the right one. And then there is a whole series of sparks which, when connected together, form a lightning of effective living. That lightning brings all the wishes to life. Oh, btw, the right path is the one that one's mind chooses in conformity with one's conscience.

Reading a book can be a different experience when your experience levels are different. I believe there are right times to read a book similar to the sayings that mean there are right times to do the right things or right things happen at the right time. Had I read this book two year ago, I would have slept in the first ten pages. But now every statement reminds me of something that has happened already and I can relate the habits perfectly to life. Now I know why an MBA needs prior work experience.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Someone Special

Today is Twelfth of May and it is no big deal. It's not because nobody great was born or shot today. Remember, for once, remember for all, the Eighth of May and forget only to remember it again for today I shall introduce to you someone so special that you just can't imagine your life without him. Let him go out of your days and nights and one-third of your life is just an internship in graveyard. Ladies and men (you don't have to be gentle do you?), I feel immense pleasure in presenting to you the most creative geniuses of all times - Mr Dream.

Ask yourself who is the most intimate person in your life with whom you have shared your bed and I bet it has to be Mr Dream. Ask yourself who has been entertaining you since the beginning of the show called life with new and captivating plots of various genres including drama, horror, thriller, romance, fantasy and what not and it is him. Ask me who is the single most proven source of all inventions and innovations by mankind and I shall quickly google it up to tell you that it is Mr Dream. So, with due respect and gratitude, I invite Mr Dream to say a couple of words before you. It is a gentle reminder to all the readers to switch off their cellphones, close any pop-up windows and remember that today is the Eighth of May. And now, the man says.

Mr Dream: Hi there. Seems to be quite a lot of time since we met the last time, almost 7-8 hours for the early risers. I am a really shy person and hence meet you all individually in total privacy and not as a matter of any policy as such. I was wondering what to talk about today before our regular meeting at night when Virgineer contacted me and finally I stumbled upon an emotion of gratitude. I don't know how you will take this but yes I do play dice everyday before meeting you to decide about the kind of emotion to be depicted in your nightmares. So, it is gratitude for today.

I would like to thank all those who made this soporific regime of mine possible and contributed in any way to increasing my fan-following. First up, I surely owe to all the teachers and professors across the world. Cheers people, you have made me what I am today. Even the insomniacs of the third degree find peace during your lectures. Thanks a ton. Next, I would like to thank the Governments of all the countries of the world. Three cheers for all the Presidents, Ministers and Governors who have been behind the erection of Public Sector and Government Offices. It seems more like a sleep hospital during the day and the amount of medical research that has been behind it must be praised. The idea that one can get the best of naps only during duty-time is simply a crack. Last and the least, I sincerely thank all the politicians, public-speakers and test-cricket organizers who have contributed immensely to the sleeping activities of people through the ultimate tool of boredom.

By this time, most of you would have already started dreaming. For those of you who haven't, I've more. The art of dreaming doesn't just lie in surrendering yourself on the bed. It is guided by your aspirations, fantasies as well as impressions of your life on your mind. The suggestion from my side is - dream big and dream long. Not for your sake but mine. If possible, convert your dream into reality for the real world to fantasize even more, else you can accomplish it all in my virtual world anyway. By the way, I'm trying these days to merge the two dimensions and let you dream while you are conscious. The project is aptly known as Second Life.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Koffee with Kreativity

What is creativity?

Sitting in a state of the art conference room flooded with white light and surrounded by one of the most creative minds of the IIT Madras illuminati, including the learners and the learned, the passing outs and the passed outs, and veterans of technical and literary orientations, I was posed the above question. I picked up one of the wonderful toys deliberately kept on my table and started playing with it. It was a four-inch wide paper roll stuck on a stick which grew to four feet every time I jerked it. I was aiming at the specs of my teammate. The word creativity was flying in my mind like a bee foraging for nectar. I was wondering if this process of coming up with the definition of creativity itself could be termed as creativity.

After a rigorous brainstorming session, my team stumbled upon a juncture with a whole chart paper of notions and emotions concerning creativity. It was more than 50 minutes already. Tim & Andy, the instructors of Know!nnovation, rang the bell and called for a definition from each team.

First up was the team of the Profs, followed by Prof’s team. The team of Professors came up with so exhaustive a definition that I witnessed the realization of how the Nobel Prize jury had felt when Einstein released his paper on relativity. None of those present had a clue. But all clapped in unison. What followed was a captivating performance on the platform by the next team and this was what they presented as their definition – ooh, aah, aaee, gwazf,, some body twists and unseen expressions. My turn arrived and I read from the chart paper – Creativity is the art of churning your pool of thoughts and siphoning-off the cream. Innovation is applying that cream on a cake. Poor me - for vague reasons, I was asked to repeat my definition twice for the audience to find it digestible. Perhaps nobody cared to think beyond once cream and cake were served. Thought for food, you see.

The KI workshop went on for 4 days and after all the prescribed dosages of fun, the best part of the exhilarating experience wasn’t the official ticket to escape from the MOSFETs & BJTs any more. Initially, it was the transition from daily classroom pilgrimage of soporific activities to appreciating my consciousness which was unbelievably working in the wee hours of morning. Within two tea-breaks offered to let our delicate minds relax, most of us could realize that the next few days were going to be very different from how we had expected our stay in IITM to continue.

The two keywords of the sessions were ‘Diverge’ & ‘WIBNI’. To quote Andy - when you diverge, you defer judgment. For us, it meant that we were free to bring any idea from mind to mouth without stopping for brain. By the time we were introduced to WIBNI, we were already proficient in making up sentences like Wouldn’t It Be Nice If… our classrooms have bean bags. WIBNI we can speak better English than the Tarams Cycle Repair guy. WIBNI Guru serves Maggi within two minutes. WIBNI Pacino comes and whistles at my speech. WIBNI BTPs & DDPs are written by Profs and guided by us. And the much shared vision – WIBNI NIFT & IIT have the same campus. The best part of the Creative Problem Solving workshop was the demonstration of how free thinking and free sharing of thoughts can do wonders for any team playing, read working, together.

A team is like an orchestra. Every instrument lets the other know what it is doing, and they do it in sync. An intriguing question posed in the workshop was – What makes you creative? Prompt answers - Bright light, toys, music, yoga, meditation, friends as teammates, freedom, empty space, open space, nature, inspiring quotes, innovative objects, bog, and sex (could be with oneself).The complimentary question was – What deters you from being creative? Instant replies – Google, Google & more of it.

Let’s try a hand of creativity at writing. Say, we are confronted with a question like this -

Q. What qualities are essential to be a good trainer?

One line of thinking is to break the word into pieces and try to have some pun in life. The other may be to map an altogether different world to the given realm. Say, we break the word trainer to get train. And the world to be mapped is a kitchen. Here we go –

A good trainer, apart from being well-versed in the subject of training, needs to be affable and amicable. He should be able to connect with his trainees and maintain a spontaneous flow of his knowledge and experience while exhibiting patience and exuberance. Given all the above ingredients, the dish appears to be perfectly cooked and served hot. Taste it and you will instantly yell, “Where’s the goddamn salt?" That salt is wit.

A good trainer is like a train. He needs to come to halt where his trainees don't understand. He should end the day's journey when the trainees are exhausted. He needs to work at the right pace in accordance with the grasping speed of the trainees. He must blow the whistle as and when needed to enforce discipline. Like a good train, a good trainer is punctual, and takes the passengers to the destination safely!

A good trainer is always open to feedback and changes his way of teaching accordingly. Teaching is an art and a good trainer understands that art is not just a dry means of communication but an expression in style, often pleasant and interesting.

On a personal note, creativity is something which you do for yourself; it’s like your hobby which rejuvenates you. After all the storms in your brain, the spasm ends up in some sort of orgasm. On the contrary, innovation refers to something feasible, sellable, marketable, applicable, or tangible. Creativity & innovation share the same knot as idea & product. Innovation is for others to take away. It’s completely for the masses, those at the receiver’s end. Innovation yields something in kind.

The researchers of these fields have devised quite exhaustive theories and friendly processes & tools such as CPS, TRIZ, SCAMPER, SIMPLEX, 4Ws & H, ASIT, MIND MAPPING, BRAINSTORMING, and the list goes on. The idea is to identify the one that suits your team and adapt it to your weather conditions instead of adapting your team according to a standardized process for creativity has personal preferences and varies quite a lot with individuals.

The atheists (including me) would argue - Man cannot create but just discover and the Universe has only one creative force, the divine one. The fact remains that it doesn’t even matter. Whoever created it, the person who brings it in front of the masses is the one who is worshipped and is the one who is crowned ‘creator’. Bon Creati-vetti!