Since childhood I want to see God. I want to know who is this person so close to me and yet so far. Whenever I’m in trouble, I’m safely rescued from it as soon as I ask for help from Him. Yet, I can’t perceive him through my senses. Although I’ve always been inquisitive to know about Him as the creator of the universe, its preserver, manager, destroyer, creator of life, I’m more driven by my personal relations with Him. Why is he 24*7 ready to help me, why does he bother when I call Him, who is He, do I know Him from the time before my memories were born? Geeta says that my true identity is my soul, my consciousness which is immortal, above the cycle of birth and death, outside the circumference of time, a reflection of God.
The only question that springs up is why does Geeta tell me so, shouldn’t I know this on my own? Don’t I have the right to know about myself without meditating for 100 years or more? Why is my memory so worthless that it can’t recall even the most important of all information I would have collected since……………….I can’t even specify the time.
Geeta says that it’s I who has forgotten Him and it can’t ever be the other way round. At this juncture of realization, I feel that if at all there is some definition of sin, it’s losing contact with God.
Accepted - my actions cause an impression not only on my mind but my conscience (soul’s consciousness) too which remains with it even after the material body is dissolved and it doesn’t matter at all what happens to the world outside by my actions - whether I create a havoc or spring it’s all the same unless the world inside doesn’t get affected. Accepted - it’s the burden of those impressions, specifically that of the bad ones, that creates the environment of my next life. But above all there is one truth – no matter how sinful I am, the instant I enter His mansion, I’m free of all limitations, purer than the sunlight, happier and more blissful than smile and everything in the universe is engulfed by my consciousness as if I were the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets, the gardens, the plants, the animals, the waterfalls, the birds, the flowers and then I dissolve in God, no longer being a reflection of Him but a solute in the universal solvent. Thus, nothing on earth is a sin as long as you love and seek Him. Truly, forgetting Him is the greatest sin.
Everything existing in the universe is a condensation of fickle vibrations, even the five elements. Life is a condensation of thoughts and consciousness – the ultimate source being God. Nothing belongs to me, everything is His. I’m His and thus he cares for me so much. He is the one who bestowed me with such a lovely nature, loving friends, relatives, siblings and above all – my parents.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s better to call my father as God or God as father. They’re both indistinguishable in nature and I can’t survive without any of them. But undoubtedly, at least as long as I’m a human being on earth, I would prefer calling God as father and not the other way round for it’s God who will feel honoured to assume my father’s position. Selfless actions, absolutely indisputable decisions, rigid honesty, mature forgiveness, the most efficient dutifulness, the perfect balance of inner and outer attention are some of the countless virtues in the making of my father which can inspire even Lord Rama to incarnate again and try to be like him. I’ve thanked God more than anything else on giving me my father. As soon as I think of him, I’m overflowing with strength. There are times when God is two seconds late and then I remember my father – at once, all darkness is overcome and all that remains is light.
"God! You were lucky when Jesus used to call you father and today even I am going to repay everything that you’ve given me by calling you PAPA! All debts repaid?! Now everytime I call you PA, you owe me my Father in one more life!"
