Sanjeev Kapoor and The Cookery Contaste

A celebration of culture can never be complete without cuisine. Who else but the poster-boy of Indian cookery could be the best person to flag-off the newly introduced Cookery Contest at Saarang? The chef extraordinaire was here yesterday afternoon to present a list of 30 things to eat before you die. A delay of 2 hours only increased the appetite of the audience but what came afterwards was well worth the wait.

Sanjeev started-off the lecture by talking about himself and his pursuit of a rather unconventional profession. Then he proceeded to present his comprehensive list, at some times informative and at others nostalgic. The anecdotes and jokes meticulously inserted in his presentation convinced each one of us why he is regarded as one of the most sought after television personalities as well. The lecture finished at a high point after a series of interesting question-and-answer exchanges with a visibly enthusiastic audience. This was followed by an exclusive interview with the Newsletter correspondents.

Correspondent: The term which comes immediately in our minds when we think of Sanjeev Kapoor is Khana-Khazana. How did Khana-Khazana happen?

Sanjeev: It all began at a point of time when satellite television was new in India. Different chefs were being approached for launching an interactive cookery show. Zee TV approached me with a name Srimaan Bawarchi, to which I immediately responded with a ‘No’. This was when I had reached the peak of my professional career albeit at a very early age of 28.

C. After the success of the show, many other cookery shows also poured in. But they did not enjoy as much adulation as your show, which has been on air for 15 years. What is the secret behind the longevity of Khana Khazana?

S. Khana Khazana is a complete package. With the extensive research carried out by us, we have a better understanding of the interests of the viewers. The core value being - cooking what viewers can replicate. Explaining the recipe in detail yet keeping the format simple enough to not look boring is what makes us connect with the audience. After every show, we make it a point to think from the viewer’s perspective.

C. What does it take to become a world-class chef? Is it only exceptional cooking skills or do presentation and soft skills take the cake?

S. Soft skills are equally important. If you cook well, you might be a brilliant cook but it takes beyond just cooking to make a chef. Not only the art and the science of cooking but the management of cooking is also what a chef needs to excel in.

C. How do you manage to come-up with numerous new recipes? Do you keep on experimenting with the ingredients while you are cooking, just like a scientist?

S. (Smiles) Being familiar with (the) ingredients lets you make predictions in your mind. For example, you know that adding sugar to a dish will make it sweet. The variations, therefore, are never startling. Although, most of it depends on instincts.

C. The success of pizza and noodles in Indian food market is quite palpable. Are the Indian food-items equally successful in western countries?

S. Yes, of course. Indian food is no 1 in UK. Chicken Tikka Masala is the national dish in England. Our spices and flavours are extensively used by western cooks to spice-up their dishes.

C. What is the secret behind the success of the Indian curry?

S. Indian curry has a unique blend (of spices). In our curries, we use 10-15-20 different herbs and spices. It’s more like a modern day doctor who recommends 7-8 medicines with a hope that something will work. (Similarly,) Something out of that magic blend works.

C. Even though cooking is women’s forte in Indian households, why do you think men still make better chefs?

S. Men are not more successful but more in numbers. Cooking as a profession is physical and laborious in nature. Women are also expected to look after household. A father can work. It’s more to do with the social structure.

C. We all know that you pursued a hotel management course not in vogue despite being an academically brilliant student because you wanted to do something different and bizarre. Given your famous love for the bizarre, what are the other interesting activities that you enjoy?

S. Learning new skills always interests me. I agreed to judge Jhalak Dikhlaja because it was very different. I’ve also been a percussionist and used to play for a band.

C. Thank you very much. It’s been a pleasure meeting you.

S. The pleasure is all mine!

The lecture was followed by an innovative contest which lacked fire and was doing away with hot & cold water instead. Thanks to the creative cooking of the contestants, with utter modesty, the event went ahead of the ‘30 things to eat before you die’ to ‘30 things to eat in order to die’. Apparently, the teams started making crazy concoctions of the eatables lying on the tables to create something so intriguing that the judge reacted with “Please take me home early”. The workshop ended on a tit-for-tat note when the event organizer was forced to drink the winning potion and the judge who had tasted it stood flashing a contented smile.

U for UNR

The expression on the two spectators must have made you realize that the ***** going on here is nothing less that the Ram-Bharat milaap scene of Andaz Apna Apna. Whoever said that the duo believes in over dramatization!

Below is an interview of a newsletter coordinator (bossed by PR core) by a visitor of http://blog.saarang.org/2007/11/01/you-3/

“Who are you?”

A question is but a squirt of inquisitiveness or a test of edification which, in the status quo, happens to be an insult of omniscience. The only righteous response to a question is an answer. Our answer is “We are he". The feminist fingers can hereafter rest in peace for this is mere boisterousness of male emancipation in its quest for the Holy Grail.

“Oh, whatever...but what do you do?”

To do or not to do - that, my friend, is not even a question. It's a mere mortal's fight for attaining martyrdom in the battlefield of procrastination. We have been doing that for ages and can continue to do so. But, for the unflinching and undaunted nitwits we are, we set out for inking the unbridled ubiquitous utopia of Saarang by the ukase of Uncle Duck(y). Unction is in the offing for taking umbrage and those unassuaged by the uncanny unctuousness are hereby lent freedom to be unwontedly uncouth. To put it simply, we upbraid and we do that to everyone.

“What the fish is this ‘U’ thing?”

The public usage of the thing mentioned by you in an air being inhaled by any IITian is an act of utmost profanity which may trigger fatal epileptic fits and I urge you to stop doing that right away. We were asked to tell you that this Saarang it's you, or rather the both of you. So we are just doing our duty, you see. Puff! Sigh! Don't you ever mention that thing again!

“Oh, go climb a mountain. I know what you did last winter. Completely failing to connect those S for Saarang words and then failing all over again with N for Newsletter words have driven you bananas. Here you are, making a forced and convoluted attempt with U for u know what.”

Gawd! She’s good!

it's time

Time up! You know you're already running out of time when you come across anything of this sort. The Geek Gods are about to open their arms and it's all happening right there, in GeeCe**.

Wordsworth has already submitted his final entry for the lyrics of The Rock Show @ Saarang. Believe it or not, after death, he has grown into a death metal fan wishing to come alive for the show. The footfalls of the show have started tickling the pounding hearts of thousands of zealous youths across the nation who are waiting for Saarang with bated breath.

GeeCe**: Gajendra Circle, the central intelligence unit of Geeklandia, also known as IIT Madras.

***For the perverted pinheads amongst you, FYI: The author's talking about the pen of Shakespeare which has gone out of control. I repeat it's Shakespeare's long thin pen!

How Stupid of Me

How stupid of me! Here I am, having a sip of cappuccino and enjoying the light moments, remembering the lightest moments of my life. I think of my tryst with Monaco – munching heavily and trying to feel light. Light it was but lightest – surely not. The next moment I remember that Giga-Newton column of liquid I got rid (pissed, literally) of in the toilet an hour ago and relive the light moments consequent to the holy act. At this instant, I feel like betting my bottom rupee on those being the lightest moments of my life. Soon enough, I start feeling pathetic, small and repentant. How stupid of me for I have not yet considered the Light Music Show @ Saarang. For the ignorant, Saarang LM Night is yet another night in my life, albeit comparable to none other, which makes me say "The juice was worth the squeeze". To be modest, it's just a night of trance, a night of pulsating melody when some Shankar asks his friends Ehsaan & Loy if Dil Chahta Hai and imparts gyaan about life having kabhi khushi kabhi gham. Sometimes the night is marked by another bloke called Sukhwinder Singh, the same great saint who recites Omkara and Kisna . It is the same light night, my comrade, when I got to sway with this girl for the first time – the girl who's sipping at my cappuccino right now and the same girl who's ready to pay for it ;). But looking at it retrospectively, all I can say is "How stupid of me!"

Creativetti

Creativity is the art of churning your pool of thoughts until you get a cream never seen before and then siphoning off that cream.

Before you hold the magic wand of creativity, all you need to recite is - "rules and structuring can go to hell". Moreover, to create something distinctive and originally creative, you must be a virgin. I fully understand that it's too hard to resist the lust for William, Wilde & Wodehouse but you can still make a humble attempt by reciting this every morning at 11:59:59 - "at least two of them are gay!"

All the kids whining about my modest reading and watching can stop whining now or continue to do so. I am still not too embarrassed about having completed 5 novels and watched 1 season of
my only series in my entire courtship with vision.

Holiday Homework (Ki Workshop)

Q. What qualities are essential to be a good trainer?

A good trainer, apart from being well-versed in the subject of training, needs to be affable and amicable. He should be able to connect with his trainees and maintain a spontaneous flow of his knowledge and experience while exhibiting patience and exuberance. Given all the above ingredients, the dish appears to be perfectly cooked and served hot. Taste it and you will instantly yell, “Where’s the goddamn salt?" That salt is wit.

A good trainer is like a train. He needs to come to halt where his trainees don't understand. He should end the day's journey when the trainees are exhausted. He needs to work at the right pace in accordance with the grasping speed of the trainees. He must blow the whistle as and when needed to enforce discipline. Like a good train, a good trainer is punctual, and takes the passengers to the destination safely!

A good trainer is always open to feedback and changes his way of teaching accordingly. Teaching is an art and a good trainer understands that art is not just a dry means of communication but an expression in style, often pleasant and interesting.

Ready for Deployment

Unofficial Unedited Un....ummm...whatever

Mark your actions; we are watching, whatever you do.

Mark your words; we are listening, whatever you say.

TFE is back, with a new set of eyes and ears. After a hitchhike across the galaxy, we went on a trip with Vitalstatistix tomorrow. Join us for the next odyssey.


We believe in the pen and the print. Make sure you believe us, for we spy and we don’t lie.

We are not early and we won’t be late, for we worship deadlines when they go to heaven.

Send your words; even if they don’t make much of a sense, we might still consider them to award you a sentence.

We love competition, especially when they filter, copy and reflect.

For the newsletters, sorry but you ain’t got nothing new. The PAAPrikas failed to count their sins and the reservoir Dogs are not allowed.

We urge you to write as a rite; claim your right, no matter its right or wrong.

To read is human, to write divine.

TFE, the official ‘free’ press invites anecdotes, articles, poems, cartoons et cetera et cetera. For the wordsworthy, we have already booked the Booker.

Guess who’s gonna ‘pay’ for it?

- The 'cut-copy-paste' Editors

**We are not copy cats and it's ONLY 'inspired' by http://thebofi.blogspot.com

?

रेत की आंधी
खुली आँखें
आगे बढ़ना है।

चिलचिलाती धूप
नंगे तलवे
रास्ता तय करना है।

चुभता पसीना
सूखी प्यास
चलते रहना है।

चार दिशाएँ
चिथड़ों में नक्शा
वहाँ पहुँचना है।

न कोई पास
न मदद की आस
अकेले तय करना है।

मिट्टी का आकाश
मिट्टी की हवा
मिट्टी को जीतना है।

शक्तिहीन तन
दुखती टांगें
मीलों को पीछे छोड़ना है।

मन में एक आग
आँखों में नशा
हर हाल में करना है।

पर क्यूँ
कौन हूँ मैं
आखिर क्या करना है?

Lit-Soc Debate

Against: The Society is Justified in Being Homophobic

The term homophobia was originally coined in 1965 as:

A morbid and irrational dread which forcefully suppresses any natural sexual feelings related to homosexuality, which is unnatural. (clinical psychologist George Weinberg)

But it’s not just that. Homophobia is inhumane, rather murderous. There are murders and suicides inspired by the hatred. The numbers run to thousands; no one knows the precise data as in many countries, the deaths of homosexuals are not considered worth recording as a separate category.

They say homosexuality is not natural. Well, homosexual behaviours have been noted in every primate species so far studied, and in man's closest living relatives, the bonobo chimpanzees, bisexual behaviour is universal. Among humans, homosexuality is found in all cultures and with about the same frequency.

They say it's disgusting? Well, just because you feel that eating non-vegetarian food is disgusting doesn’t have to mean that people eating tandoori chicken at Minar are abhorrent sinners.

Listen to this. A 1996 study conducted at the University of Georgia (by Henry Adams, Lester Wright Jr., and Bethany Lohr) indicates that 54% of "homophobic" males exhibit latent homosexuality. 24% of the non-"homophobic" men showed some degree of tumescence in response to a male homosexual video, compared to 54% of the subjects who scored high on the "homophobia scale". In addition, 66% of the non-homophobic group showed no significant increases in tumescence after this video, but only 20% of the "homophobic" men failed to display any arousal. Additionally the "homophobic" men significantly underestimated their degree of arousal.

So all those who endorse homophobia, you better watch yourselves. You might be trying to suppress some natural feelings, you see. And why yell at others when, you never know, you yourself might be one of them. For inspiration, you can look-up to Achilles and Patroclus; Alexander the Great and his childhood friend, Hephaistion, or for that matter one of the honourable cores of Saarang!

The AIDS epidemic has cost millions of lives. Yet when this epidemic first got started in America, the president of the United States actually obstructed efforts to halt it. Hundreds of thousands have suffered and died. Who is responsible: The homophobia of one politician. Ref: And The Band Played On by Randy Shilts.

In India, homosexuality has been illustrated in Khajuraho sculptures, Bhagvad Gita and Kamasutra. There is no evidence of anyone in India ever having been executed for same-sex relations. It is the British colonial rulers who wrote modern homophobia into education, law and politics. No wonder, the 145-year-old colonial Indian Penal Code clearly describes a same sex relationship as an "unnatural offence".

We have listened to fairy tales of prince and princess, had we read about prince-prince or princess-princess stories, we would have been absolutely comfortable with it. Sex education about homosexuality will completely wipe-out homophobia over a period of time. The need is to replace fear with awareness. Thank you. Questions please.

For: The Society is Justified in Being Homophobic

The term homophobia is defined as fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality.It is the moral judgement that homosexuality is wrong. While many claim that homophobia is irrational, neither the American Heritage Dictionary nor the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) includes the term "irrational" in the definition. This is in spite of the fact that the term phobia in itself implies that the fear is irrational. Therefore, to interpret the topic without any bias, let us change the terminology to homo-negativity.


For those who still feel that fear of homosexuality is irrational, i would like to pose
a question to them - could you please define what exactly is rational? They define rational
as anything that is logically valid. Now, what exactly is the purpose of logic? Logic is
just a way to explain what you observe or experience. I submit that fear of homosexuality
is the experience.

Now, logic would be something that would explain why it is so and not why it is not so. You can only say something is rational or not, when you have a choice and you need to make a decision. On the contrary, the status quo is that you simply experience fear and you have no choice but to abominate homosexuality. So, it goes without saying that homophobia can’t be adjudged irrational. If fear of wild animals is justified, if fear of terrorists is justified, if fear of death is justified, homophobia is surely justified.

Now let us delve into the question why fear of homosexuality exists in the society.

Recent medical history suggests that the first victims of the modern AIDS epidemic which began suddenly in about 1980 were promiscuous homosexual males.This is primarily because the human body is not designed to be promiscuous, and it was not designed to engage in homosexual acts.

Besides, homosexuality implicitly implies anal sex which is considered to be comparatively high in risk, for a number of reasons related to the vulnerability of the tissues and the septic nature of the anus.

I would like to add that a homophobe does not engage in violence against homosexuals. Its just that he prefers to stay away from them because there is a natural fear for the unnatural. We homophobes believe the best approach is moral condemnation, which is the approach our society now applies to many other destructive practices, such as adultery, alcohol and tobacco abuse, and suicide. Moral condemnation will not extirpate them, but neither can the law; a climate of disapproval may reduce their frequency and their harm.

I had teamed-up with Tool who was cunningly coaxed into making his public-speaking debut in Lit-Soc. With not a single sentence mugged-up we realized the indispensable usage of print in public-speaking. The strategy was to pretend as if we're looking at our "paper" for statistics and then go on to the next point showing them a phony expression of having found the data needed to make the point. Everything was fine until the rebuttal began. With a few twists and twirls of logic, we 'barely' managed not to come-off the stage in a bare appearance. We finally got through to the finale which is supposedly going to be based on the 'British Parliamentary Debate' template.