Tapti Nite 2008

Koffee with Kreativity

What is creativity?

Sitting in a state of the art conference room flooded with white light and surrounded by one of the most creative minds of the IIT Madras illuminati, including the learners and the learned, the passing outs and the passed outs, and veterans of technical and literary orientations, I was posed the above question. I picked up one of the wonderful toys deliberately kept on my table and started playing with it. It was a four-inch wide paper roll stuck on a stick which grew to four feet every time I jerked it. I was aiming at the specs of my teammate. The word creativity was flying in my mind like a bee foraging for nectar. I was wondering if this process of coming up with the definition of creativity itself could be termed as creativity.

After a rigorous brainstorming session, my team stumbled upon a juncture with a whole chart paper of notions and emotions concerning creativity. It was more than 50 minutes already. Tim & Andy, the instructors of Know!nnovation, rang the bell and called for a definition from each team.

First up was the team of the Profs, followed by Prof’s team. The team of Professors came up with so exhaustive a definition that I witnessed the realization of how the Nobel Prize jury had felt when Einstein released his paper on relativity. None of those present had a clue. But all clapped in unison. What followed was a captivating performance on the platform by the next team and this was what they presented as their definition – ooh, aah, aaee, gwazf,, some body twists and unseen expressions. My turn arrived and I read from the chart paper – Creativity is the art of churning your pool of thoughts and siphoning-off the cream. Innovation is applying that cream on a cake. Poor me - for vague reasons, I was asked to repeat my definition twice for the audience to find it digestible. Perhaps nobody cared to think beyond once cream and cake were served. Thought for food, you see.

The KI workshop went on for 4 days and after all the prescribed dosages of fun, the best part of the exhilarating experience wasn’t the official ticket to escape from the MOSFETs & BJTs any more. Initially, it was the transition from daily classroom pilgrimage of soporific activities to appreciating my consciousness which was unbelievably working in the wee hours of morning. Within two tea-breaks offered to let our delicate minds relax, most of us could realize that the next few days were going to be very different from how we had expected our stay in IITM to continue.

The two keywords of the sessions were ‘Diverge’ & ‘WIBNI’. To quote Andy - when you diverge, you defer judgment. For us, it meant that we were free to bring any idea from mind to mouth without stopping for brain. By the time we were introduced to WIBNI, we were already proficient in making up sentences like Wouldn’t It Be Nice If… our classrooms have bean bags. WIBNI we can speak better English than the Tarams Cycle Repair guy. WIBNI Guru serves Maggi within two minutes. WIBNI Pacino comes and whistles at my speech. WIBNI BTPs & DDPs are written by Profs and guided by us. And the much shared vision – WIBNI NIFT & IIT have the same campus. The best part of the Creative Problem Solving workshop was the demonstration of how free thinking and free sharing of thoughts can do wonders for any team playing, read working, together.

A team is like an orchestra. Every instrument lets the other know what it is doing, and they do it in sync. An intriguing question posed in the workshop was – What makes you creative? Prompt answers - Bright light, toys, music, yoga, meditation, friends as teammates, freedom, empty space, open space, nature, inspiring quotes, innovative objects, bog, and sex (could be with oneself).The complimentary question was – What deters you from being creative? Instant replies – Google, Google & more of it.

Let’s try a hand of creativity at writing. Say, we are confronted with a question like this -

Q. What qualities are essential to be a good trainer?

One line of thinking is to break the word into pieces and try to have some pun in life. The other may be to map an altogether different world to the given realm. Say, we break the word trainer to get train. And the world to be mapped is a kitchen. Here we go –

A good trainer, apart from being well-versed in the subject of training, needs to be affable and amicable. He should be able to connect with his trainees and maintain a spontaneous flow of his knowledge and experience while exhibiting patience and exuberance. Given all the above ingredients, the dish appears to be perfectly cooked and served hot. Taste it and you will instantly yell, “Where’s the goddamn salt?" That salt is wit.

A good trainer is like a train. He needs to come to halt where his trainees don't understand. He should end the day's journey when the trainees are exhausted. He needs to work at the right pace in accordance with the grasping speed of the trainees. He must blow the whistle as and when needed to enforce discipline. Like a good train, a good trainer is punctual, and takes the passengers to the destination safely!

A good trainer is always open to feedback and changes his way of teaching accordingly. Teaching is an art and a good trainer understands that art is not just a dry means of communication but an expression in style, often pleasant and interesting.

On a personal note, creativity is something which you do for yourself; it’s like your hobby which rejuvenates you. After all the storms in your brain, the spasm ends up in some sort of orgasm. On the contrary, innovation refers to something feasible, sellable, marketable, applicable, or tangible. Creativity & innovation share the same knot as idea & product. Innovation is for others to take away. It’s completely for the masses, those at the receiver’s end. Innovation yields something in kind.

The researchers of these fields have devised quite exhaustive theories and friendly processes & tools such as CPS, TRIZ, SCAMPER, SIMPLEX, 4Ws & H, ASIT, MIND MAPPING, BRAINSTORMING, and the list goes on. The idea is to identify the one that suits your team and adapt it to your weather conditions instead of adapting your team according to a standardized process for creativity has personal preferences and varies quite a lot with individuals.

The atheists (including me) would argue - Man cannot create but just discover and the Universe has only one creative force, the divine one. The fact remains that it doesn’t even matter. Whoever created it, the person who brings it in front of the masses is the one who is worshipped and is the one who is crowned ‘creator’. Bon Creati-vetti!

Holi kab hai, kab hai Holi?

I hate Holi. Seriously. What is Holi? Isn't it a mere reason to lose the monotony of the colour of your skin, the same skin that marks your identity - black, brown, white (in alphabetical order, albeit any palpable bias is not deeply regretted) or anywhere in between. The colour of your skin can make you a teeth-and-eye-guy, a tree-trunk, a tubelight or, in some cases, even a God (ref: Hindu Mythology). May I take this opportunity to submit that it's the same attribute of your personality which has won races around the world known by different names like 'Formula A for Apartheid' , 'Tubelight Burden of Fight Club & Rude yard fame' and 'Gehuan the wheatish complexion - a mystery en route'.

Coming back. Holi. Why Holi? What in the world can be a justification for the humongous amount of dye, paint, grease, mud, cow-dung, other forms of shit, tap-water, tank-water, hand-pump water, well-water, tub-water, bucket-water, rain-water(try spending Holi in Chennai), drain-water, and all other variants of the colourful and the colourless being wasted on a mortal human? Isn't it a mockery of the serious research going on in the Chemistry Labs of IIT Madras (ref:Bhaand) that one-mile-long-molecular-formula-chemicals are being used just for fun? And that too in such huge dosages!

Where Holi? The toughest part of the byzantine problem is that Holi can be played anywhere in the world - air, water, land, outside home, inside home (better talk to your mom before this one), on the street, on the roof-top, on the water tank (ref:Dharmendra and his chakki), forests, grasslands, deserts (if carrying a pot of water for kilometres is not Rocket Science for you), and even in India( ya, sometimes people play it here, although not so enthusiastically in the northern parts of the Asian country. Or is it the other way?). So, with so many choices, this festival confuses your intellect and thus I say, my comrade, that it's better to hate it. Hate it for else you will fall in love with it till death. Hate it for the people hiding during the mad festival will hate you more for tearing their undergarments and throwing them into mud.

Moving on. How Holi? It's one of those cases where hands do a good job and you know that a good handjob is illegitimate in the country. Again, the instruments used in the sling operation resemble banned diagrams of human anatomy and the misuse of contraceptives as balloons has caused a great increase in the percentage error of Say-no-to-AIDS statistics.

Who Holi? Considering the undeniable fact that only fun-loving, enthusiastic, and lively people can play it, Holi fans overlook the question - what will the chickens do meanwhile? Hiding their asses and donkeys in some isolated corners of hostels and a marathon run when caught is all they can do.

'nuf said. I hate Holi. You are free to do the same. Thank you for being on my side.

Issued in public interest: Clean Holi Green Holi!

Killer Instinct

All characters depicted in this purely fictional piece of literature are completely imaginary. Any resemblance to any entity living, dead, or anywhere in between is utterly deliberate!

GeeCe¹, 1907 hours. A Mercedes E240 screeches to an abrupt halt. The security guards completing their afti-dharma² gain consciousness at once and adjust their uniforms while running towards the entrance of the Central Library. The students pleading to academic babus for the reconsideration of their rejected application letters for the Cultural Secretary elections stop looking for Rs 50 currency notes in their wallets and turn around to see across the street. The Dean’s black yoRoto³, provided by the Government of India, rings.

Virgineer⁴, the student-spy of the Dean, is drenched in sweat, panting, and extremely impatient as the phone rings for one full minute and his call remains unanswered. He redials on his new Nokia Express Music won in the Head-Banging Contest at the Saarang Rock-Show. To his relief, he is answered this time. The identification code ‘Hail CGPA’ is pronounced at the other end by a familiar voice and Virgineer knows that he is talking to the right person. “Hail CGPA! Sir, there’s a bad news. She is dead.” “What? How? Where?” “A car accident. In front of the library.” “But she… did you take her to the hospital?” “She died on the spot, Sir.” “Who did it?” “The driver ran off.” “Oh! Holy…” “There’s something more to it, sir. The car is a royal blue Mercedes E240. And the number says TN 23E 9964. It’s yours!” “It’s all pre-planned… a conspiracy against me. Update me as soon as you get more information.” “Right, sir. Hail CGPA.” “Ya, ya.” Cut.

The news spreads faster than fire in the forests of IITM. All the editors of The Fourth Estate, the in-house publication, come up for an urgent meet with the other Writeous Penheads⁵ of the campus and prepare pamphlets and posters for a massive student-body protest to be held tomorrow.

With two murders within two days, the Dean has no alternative but to avoid the phone calls from notorious students demanding a mourning holiday. Virgineer had earlier informed him that Idi, a security guard of Sharavati, the girl’s hostel, was missing at the time of the three murders, albeit he had arrived for the evening shift as per the records. The Dean, seeking to tighten his grip over the case, calls the CCW Office and, to his astonishment, is told that Idi is currently on a one week vacation to his village. The Dean realizes that he is drifting towards the losing end.

Meanwhile, Virgineer discovers new evidence. The villagers relent to open-up and report about a monkey, as big as an adult man, attacking black bucks for the last three days. To probe further and forage for more clues, he decides to go for an extensive search in the jungles at night. The night manifests darkness blindingly in the absence of the moon. The trees sway as wind gushes through them beside the crystal clear water of the lake. Long hours of courage in the camouflage finally bear fruit and Virgineer finds an ID card. It reads – V.G. Idichandy, Dean, IIT Madras.

Virgineer is dumbfounded. His indignation surpasses his boiling point. Within an instant, he decides to confront him.

Dean’s Office, 0400 hours. “How did you come, sir? In the same blue Mercedes? Oh, how dumb I am! It’s now all red. Blood red, isn’t it?” “Control yourself, Virgineer. You can’t accuse me.” “Give me one reason why I can’t accuse you. Believe me, I’ve plenty of evidence to prove things, you know.” “Are you trying to tell me that I don’t care for the killed?” “No, right now, I am trying to tell you that you have killed those who you were supposed to care for. The IITM campus that boasts of its prized reserve of black-bucks, has lost three adult ones, one of them being a pregnant female. So that makes you a murderer of four. Quite a performance, sir.” “I don’t need to justify myself in front of you. You are free to think whatever you want. Why should I bother when I’m not guilty?” “May I ask you where you were at 7 pm yesterday, sir?” “7 pm. 7pm? I was…I was…can’t remember. I can’t remember. I was sleeping!” “Enough. I’m going straightaway to the Police. Goodbye. To hell with CGPA!”

The Dean leans upon his table with his head bent down. There is a sudden rush of wind across the room and a closet opens. A sealed envelope flies from the Dean’s desk and falls in front of Virgineer. He turns to see where it came from and sees a security guard’s uniform and a monkey costume hanging in the closet. He tears open the envelope to read a Medical Report which says –

Dear Mr. V.G. Idichandy,

The diagnosis report of SCID-D has confirmed the symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder in you. Kindly report to the institute hospital immediately.

Thanks,
Dr Shanti Pavan
Psychiatrist, IIT Madras.

GeeCe¹: Gajendra Circle, the central intelligence unit of Geeklandia, also known as IIT Madras.

Afti-Dharma²: Nap-on-duty in the afternoon.

yoRoto³: Rotary dial telephone.

Virgineer⁴: : A spyware identified by the matrix as the virgin engineer who has not even touched any girl, circuit-board or machine's internals.

Writeous Penheads⁵: Rioters who debate whether to write as a rite is right or wrong.

Coatable Quote

The top honours went to the home team of IIT Madras, which depicted men dancing with one ball each.

- Newsletter Coordinator on Choreo-Nite

Saarang Quite-a-Quote

Should I give MY pen also to the GA people.

‐Participant at Cluedo on being asked to return pens.

A hand and a cock go hand in hand.

- A Jam participant

Had Eiffel Tower been the size of my tower!

- An extempore participant

Perhaps the grass is greener from your side.

- An extempore participant

Even Ducky is better than him.

‐ Audience number on Radio Joker Yo‐yo

A friend in hand is worth two in the bush. My question is, in whose bush?

- PR Core

Blow harder blow harder!! Size does matter!

‐ Vodafone chick during the Balloon Blowing Contest

Nice try for you to comment on global warming. You are the ones heating‐up our campus.

‐Audience number on MCC

Firang Female to a frustrated Spons Coord: Where is the rest room?

Spons Coord (Manages to hear “restroom” as “the Rush”): Go to the Hospi Desk and fill a form. You have to be in teams of ten. If there are more than 15 teams, u can participate only if u get selected in the lucky draw.

Firang Female: Is this how you do it in India?

My mother likes eighteen year-old boys... as daughter-in-law (this is the one that got misquoted all over the papers, He knows what He said!)

- A Jam participant

He also has claimed to have performed with Elton John.

- The girl in the show on the judge

What did I do to deserve this?

- Judge of the cookery contest, after looking at a certain entry she was supposed to taste

When a Photography Coord on a computer was suggested to press “Alt+F4”, she pressed ‘Alt’ and ‘F’ and asked a vol to press ‘4’.

Earlier, the same Coord, while logging into a computer of her Department Computing Facilities, saw some guys trying to peek into her password. She promptly responded by moving the Computer monitor out of their view of sight and then continuing to type her password.

Just lower your expectations and go to Himalayas.

- Sanjeev Kapoor, perfectly unaware of the name of our mess facilities

Too many wives spoil the froth.

- A Jam participant

Oh, by the way, you are from which newspaper?

- Cookery contest judge after enthusiastically rattling off a bevy of details about the event to the newsletter correspondent.

One person each from all the benches which have three people sitting please go and sit on a bench with two people.

- Main Quiz Coord who actually wanted only two people to sit on a bench

What is Lucky Ali's number for Vodafone voting?

- Audience member at OAT

There has to be cummation for summation.

- A participant at Extempore explaining how
coming is important for population growth

Sanjeev Kapoor is lecturing on '30 things to die before you eat'

- Hospi-Desk

Saarang is a rickety bus and we are all holding the parts together.

- Spons Core

We know math is not your strong point.

- Newsletter Coords to The Events core.

I am left partner less da. That guy refused to come with me.

- Tapti freshie on the eve of scrabble finals.

Hold it, guys.

- Instructor at dance workshop

Gimme Tamil and I’ll run Saarang alone.

- Big Brother

Mostly cylindrical.

- India Quiz Coord on being asked what his power was

This raga............is very.........useful...... to be............... yout..h... ful.

- Grand old performer at Classical Nite

The gay people adopted the rainbow colours da. We can’t help it.

- Design Core

Show bum or Shoban or whatever.

- Spons Coord to his core.

Events Core: No da. I am not gay. I do notice boobs.
Spons Core: The only boobs you have ever seen are mine.

The Guangdong province in China is one of the second most polluted in the world.

- Audience member at the debate.

One of the debaters swayed during his speech
with such regularity that we actually used him
to keep track of time.

When asked to put forth their closing remarks, the damsels
started flickering like an old tube light, having lost their
composure.

The high point of the debate was a loud recitation of
Tiruvalluvar quotes which rendered the atmosphere vibrant,
although we could comprehend exactly as much as we
could have deciphered a verse in Swahili.

- Newsletter team during India Development Debate

When most elocution lovers would have preferred to wait
outside the auditorium and wait for the event to
finish, the made‐of‐titanium Newsletter
correspondent sat through it.

- Gel

Cute Quote

The biggest enemy of great is good.

- DEEP KALRA

Sanjeev Kapoor and The Cookery Contaste

A celebration of culture can never be complete without cuisine. Who else but the poster-boy of Indian cookery could be the best person to flag-off the newly introduced Cookery Contest at Saarang? The chef extraordinaire was here yesterday afternoon to present a list of 30 things to eat before you die. A delay of 2 hours only increased the appetite of the audience but what came afterwards was well worth the wait.

Sanjeev started-off the lecture by talking about himself and his pursuit of a rather unconventional profession. Then he proceeded to present his comprehensive list, at some times informative and at others nostalgic. The anecdotes and jokes meticulously inserted in his presentation convinced each one of us why he is regarded as one of the most sought after television personalities as well. The lecture finished at a high point after a series of interesting question-and-answer exchanges with a visibly enthusiastic audience. This was followed by an exclusive interview with the Newsletter correspondents.

Correspondent: The term which comes immediately in our minds when we think of Sanjeev Kapoor is Khana-Khazana. How did Khana-Khazana happen?

Sanjeev: It all began at a point of time when satellite television was new in India. Different chefs were being approached for launching an interactive cookery show. Zee TV approached me with a name Srimaan Bawarchi, to which I immediately responded with a ‘No’. This was when I had reached the peak of my professional career albeit at a very early age of 28.

C. After the success of the show, many other cookery shows also poured in. But they did not enjoy as much adulation as your show, which has been on air for 15 years. What is the secret behind the longevity of Khana Khazana?

S. Khana Khazana is a complete package. With the extensive research carried out by us, we have a better understanding of the interests of the viewers. The core value being - cooking what viewers can replicate. Explaining the recipe in detail yet keeping the format simple enough to not look boring is what makes us connect with the audience. After every show, we make it a point to think from the viewer’s perspective.

C. What does it take to become a world-class chef? Is it only exceptional cooking skills or do presentation and soft skills take the cake?

S. Soft skills are equally important. If you cook well, you might be a brilliant cook but it takes beyond just cooking to make a chef. Not only the art and the science of cooking but the management of cooking is also what a chef needs to excel in.

C. How do you manage to come-up with numerous new recipes? Do you keep on experimenting with the ingredients while you are cooking, just like a scientist?

S. (Smiles) Being familiar with (the) ingredients lets you make predictions in your mind. For example, you know that adding sugar to a dish will make it sweet. The variations, therefore, are never startling. Although, most of it depends on instincts.

C. The success of pizza and noodles in Indian food market is quite palpable. Are the Indian food-items equally successful in western countries?

S. Yes, of course. Indian food is no 1 in UK. Chicken Tikka Masala is the national dish in England. Our spices and flavours are extensively used by western cooks to spice-up their dishes.

C. What is the secret behind the success of the Indian curry?

S. Indian curry has a unique blend (of spices). In our curries, we use 10-15-20 different herbs and spices. It’s more like a modern day doctor who recommends 7-8 medicines with a hope that something will work. (Similarly,) Something out of that magic blend works.

C. Even though cooking is women’s forte in Indian households, why do you think men still make better chefs?

S. Men are not more successful but more in numbers. Cooking as a profession is physical and laborious in nature. Women are also expected to look after household. A father can work. It’s more to do with the social structure.

C. We all know that you pursued a hotel management course not in vogue despite being an academically brilliant student because you wanted to do something different and bizarre. Given your famous love for the bizarre, what are the other interesting activities that you enjoy?

S. Learning new skills always interests me. I agreed to judge Jhalak Dikhlaja because it was very different. I’ve also been a percussionist and used to play for a band.

C. Thank you very much. It’s been a pleasure meeting you.

S. The pleasure is all mine!

The lecture was followed by an innovative contest which lacked fire and was doing away with hot & cold water instead. Thanks to the creative cooking of the contestants, with utter modesty, the event went ahead of the ‘30 things to eat before you die’ to ‘30 things to eat in order to die’. Apparently, the teams started making crazy concoctions of the eatables lying on the tables to create something so intriguing that the judge reacted with “Please take me home early”. The workshop ended on a tit-for-tat note when the event organizer was forced to drink the winning potion and the judge who had tasted it stood flashing a contented smile.

U for UNR

The expression on the two spectators must have made you realize that the ***** going on here is nothing less that the Ram-Bharat milaap scene of Andaz Apna Apna. Whoever said that the duo believes in over dramatization!

Below is an interview of a newsletter coordinator (bossed by PR core) by a visitor of http://blog.saarang.org/2007/11/01/you-3/

“Who are you?”

A question is but a squirt of inquisitiveness or a test of edification which, in the status quo, happens to be an insult of omniscience. The only righteous response to a question is an answer. Our answer is “We are he". The feminist fingers can hereafter rest in peace for this is mere boisterousness of male emancipation in its quest for the Holy Grail.

“Oh, whatever...but what do you do?”

To do or not to do - that, my friend, is not even a question. It's a mere mortal's fight for attaining martyrdom in the battlefield of procrastination. We have been doing that for ages and can continue to do so. But, for the unflinching and undaunted nitwits we are, we set out for inking the unbridled ubiquitous utopia of Saarang by the ukase of Uncle Duck(y). Unction is in the offing for taking umbrage and those unassuaged by the uncanny unctuousness are hereby lent freedom to be unwontedly uncouth. To put it simply, we upbraid and we do that to everyone.

“What the fish is this ‘U’ thing?”

The public usage of the thing mentioned by you in an air being inhaled by any IITian is an act of utmost profanity which may trigger fatal epileptic fits and I urge you to stop doing that right away. We were asked to tell you that this Saarang it's you, or rather the both of you. So we are just doing our duty, you see. Puff! Sigh! Don't you ever mention that thing again!

“Oh, go climb a mountain. I know what you did last winter. Completely failing to connect those S for Saarang words and then failing all over again with N for Newsletter words have driven you bananas. Here you are, making a forced and convoluted attempt with U for u know what.”

Gawd! She’s good!

it's time

Time up! You know you're already running out of time when you come across anything of this sort. The Geek Gods are about to open their arms and it's all happening right there, in GeeCe**.

Wordsworth has already submitted his final entry for the lyrics of The Rock Show @ Saarang. Believe it or not, after death, he has grown into a death metal fan wishing to come alive for the show. The footfalls of the show have started tickling the pounding hearts of thousands of zealous youths across the nation who are waiting for Saarang with bated breath.

GeeCe**: Gajendra Circle, the central intelligence unit of Geeklandia, also known as IIT Madras.

***For the perverted pinheads amongst you, FYI: The author's talking about the pen of Shakespeare which has gone out of control. I repeat it's Shakespeare's long thin pen!