Saturday, November 15, 2008

DhaiAakharPremKa 120 (with revision of important concepts taught earlier)

Thank you, Mario! But our princess is in another castle!

There you go. Either the croc-demon has planted seven clones of the princess to keep you busy while he is having all the dance-drama-party with the real princess or he is the psycho next door who collects princesses and locks them up inside white-stoned fire-under-bridge type castles guarded by his crooked croc-bros. In all humility, the question is why is Mario doing all this? Is he a Goku or a Bruce Lee who fights because he has nothing else to do? Or is he a happy-go-lucky it's-all- about-money-honey Uncle Scrooge who is just going on and on in his expeditions collecting golden dollars by smashing his head into bricks while saying hello to all those deadly horrendous ducks and squash-my-dumb-head villains? The point is, one can't rule out a hidden part of the story which could be – Mario loves the princess.

As shocking as it might seem to be, a rational analysis would help in coming to the above conclusion. What are the odds of Mario surviving all the eight stages without jumping into those ditches separated by strips as thin as Bhaand's hairline? And if by his mother's blessings, he manages to cross them, facing those monkeys who have stolen Mowgli's boomerangs is riskier than investing with Layman Bros. With his life at stake, the only reason to drive Mario into the behind of the devil can be nothing but true love. And it is true love which forms the basis of the marketing strategy of Mario Bros. A quick question would be what is true love? Has anyone seen it? Yes, there is motherly love, fatherly love, brotherly, sisterly, friendly, just-friends-ly, chuddy-buddy-ly and the other kind of love which is beyond the scope of engineers and is better left for biologists to research upon. But if a Mario stages so much fight for such loves, would he still remain the cool dude that he is? Let's not kid ourselves. Even a Balayya or a Mithun would jump off a ten-storeyed building for such loves. But only Mario reserves his knighthood and fighting prowess solely for his love-life.

The crux of the matter is - what matters in a boy's life, ultimately, is what girls want. Doesn't every girl dream of a knight riding a white horse with a torn Zorro/Baazigar-type mask on his face coming at 90 km/hr but caught in a slow motion of 20 km/hr (or is it the other way?) to rescue her from the castle of a Mogambo? It is just to fulfill this dream that some of our epics were written and so were the rest of the rescue-the-girl stories. What does all this have to do with an average IITian? Let's analyze the problem in detail. The only love our man gets is from mom which is quite evident from the tears which trickle down his cheek every time he listens to the Maa song of Taare Zameen Par or every time he puts that piece of chapati of CR M1 into his mouth.

All of a sudden, somebody up there gets kinder and then arrive (MA) girls in the campus. Our man, who has always been attending classes just to ensure that he surpasses that 74.9% attendance mark through cooperation and team-work, gets interested in not just attending classes but occupying certain meticulously selected seats half an hour before the HS class begins. Suddenly, he starts demanding for more pocket money and his parents can not be happier for he has been wearing those two sets of Shaastra T-shirts and jeans for the last three years. Every day a small cup of coffee to get the license to stay and hours of lovely exchange of emotions in CCD become a daily norm. Love's in the air. But is it true love? Is there a test for true love? Going back to the basics, she wants to be rescued from a Mogambo's castle by a Zorro/Baazigar riding a white horse like the Highwayman, remember? Now, unless and until that happens, sorry, but it ain't possible to have true love. So, all the love-birds chirping in the jungle can either accept the temporary nature of their love or the brave ones can start looking for a Mogambo who can abduct their beloved in a castle which is not too tough to break into. May the force be with you!

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