Monday, September 03, 2007

ChicKEN Or Egg?



Q. "Which came first - the chicken or the egg?" Explain with valid argument. Mathematical explanations are strongly discouraged.

Any lit-enthu guy will jump up and say,"Macha, chicken came first no; c comes before e, remember?" But he is simply overlooking the fact that a chicken can never have the guts to come first. A chicken will always remain a chicken no matter how much you egg it on. On the contrary, an egg has the palpable advantage of being oval and therefore it can roll and roll to attain an unbeatable speed. The egg will beat the chicken any day, any time, any track!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

मेरा नंबर कब आयेगा?


अकेला था जीवन में रिलायंस की कसम
लगती थी गुरु की चाय में चीनी कम
मेरी हीरो जेट हो गयी थी खटारा
पैराशूट तेल सर पे लगाता ढेर सारा

पहन के पैरागौन के चप्पल, सारंग की टीशर्ट
रोज़ सुबह रिबौक पहन भागता था सरपट
एक दिन ड्यूरासेल की तरह चलता ही गया
सी.आर.सी. पहुँचने का बनाया रिकार्ड नया

फिर भी पहुँचा एयर-डेक्कन की तरह लेट
प्रौफ की पैंट पे लगा था एशियन पेंट
लिप-गार्ड की मुस्कान के साथ बैठा बेंच पर
बगल में बैठी फेयर ऐन्ड लवली देख घूम गया सर

फ्रांस की सुंदरी के बगल में मिस्टर इंडिया
दोनों की खूबसूरती का राज़ लक्स और क्या
क्या सेट्-मैक्स लग रही थी जो दीवाना बना दे
नज़र लगे कोई उसे गोदरेज के लौकर में छिपा दे

विक्स की गोली खा मैंने कहा हाय
मेरी लाईफ में तुम रेडियो-मिर्ची की तरह आये
मैं हूँ तेरा सर्फ तू मेरी सुपर निरमा
मैं रिडर्स डाईजेस्ट तू मेरी मनोरमा

हमारा प्यार फेविकौल का जोड़ टूटेगा नहीं
चल डी.एल.एफ. का घर बनाएँ दूर कहीं
सौदा कच्चा नहीं यह है बबूल-बबूल पैसे वसूल
तुम भी कहोगी क्या बात है साड़ी हो तो प्रफुल

सच्चा प्यार है ओंकार रामायण अगरबत्ती
हाजमोला कैन्डी की तरह कुछ खट्टी कुछ मीठी
यह प्रियागोल्ड बिस्किट इसे हक से मांगो
हच के कुत्ते की तरह मैं तेरे पीछे चाहे कहीं तुम भागो

रूखेपन से कहा उसने कहाँ तू बाटा कहाँ मैं टाटा
दिखावे पे जाओ अपनी अकल लगाओ मैंने डाँटा
बोली तू तो बड़ा टाईन है मेरे अमूल माचो
सोनी एरिक्सन बजा ऋतिक के माफिक नाचो

मंजूर है तेरा प्यार जो स्प्राईट की तरह है क्लियर
तभी कोई चिल्लाया अटेंडेंस है क्लिनिक ऑल क्लियर
गुड नाईट के सपने से जाग और साईन कर
कायमचूर्ण के राक्षस टी.ए. ने कहा हँसकर

सपने हुए चूर जाने मेरा दुख किस झन्डु बाम से जायेगा
पेप्सी पीते हुये यही सोचता हूँ कि मेरा नंबर कब आयेगा

Monday, August 20, 2007

Shah Rukh Khan on Lead India

So simple, yet so moving. No living Indian can remain untouched by what Shah Rukh has to say here. All ye leadership perverts! Get yourself prepared for gyan.


What makes a leader? I’d say, really good acting skills. The most effective way to lead is not to show that you are doing it. People hate being told what to do, and what not to do. No one likes to be led by the nose. You must not make them feel you are the boss, guide, whatever. You just have to carry people along with compassion, love, and not least of all, a sense of humour. In fact, not only should others not feel the burden of your leadership, the leader himself should lead without realising it, without donning the grand mantle of setting some maha example. Achievement is the destination, leadership is showing the way to it.


Secondly, I’ve seen that every true leader treats people well. That’s crucial. You can get away by treating some people badly some of the time, but you cannot make a practice of it. I’d say the best leadership is like parenting. You don’t have to instil awe; you should create loving respect.


Thirdly, you have to have focus. But it is important that the leader’s focus does not become heavy, aggressive, pressuring, troubling, aggravating for others. You should do the planning and what you have to do, and then leave everyone to get on with his or her part of it. It’s most important to believe in everyone else as much as you do in yourself. It’s your team. You’ve chosen it. The people on it should be good, right?


Even if I know the outcome will not be what it should, I have to physically work it out myself. It’s fantastic if you get it right. But it’s equally all right if you get it wrong. Just do it. That’s what I tell my son and my daughter. There’s always a second time to get it right. I simply don’t believe in not doing anything because you are afraid it won’t work out as planned. For leaders as for followers, there should be no don’ts; just do it.

courtesy-> http://www.lead.timesofindia.com/srk_face_of_india.asp#null

Sunday, August 12, 2007

gyanMax

We are all part of the same compost heap. Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions. You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
Its not until you lose everything that you are free to do anything.

- TYLER DURDEN, Fight Club

This may be assumed as a sequel of an earlier post containing

Bheega hua aadmi baarish se nahi darta (A drenched person is not scared of the rains).
-ANUPAM KHER

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Cute Quote

When asked the attributes of a leader, he had given a memorable reply:
One who can motivate his colleagues and get things done without making his teammates feel that it was the leader who had actually got the work done.
-RAJAT GUPTA



Friday, July 27, 2007

Steve Jobs Speech

Generally I don't endorse posting youTube videos in blogs.
But I was forced to post this one...

Saturday, July 07, 2007

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being TFE-Editor


Writing an article is an art of arranging all your articles in an articulate way. It’s like preparing a dish for the first time, garnishing and decorating it with all the spices, nuts, toppings and other add-ons you have in your kitchen. Albeit serving it hot might not be necessary. Some articles require to be presented right when the iron is hot. There are others which are classics and can be relished anytime like a dessert. An avid reader generally knows what she/he is looking for and picks novels from among a favourite set of authors. But the most popular forms of print media – newspapers and magazines take the reader to rides of many different writers - some experienced, and others innovative and fresh.

For a change, let’s try to find out what it takes to get a magazine sailing around and connecting with people. There are two ways of looking at it – the conventional one, and the new and efficient B-style.

The conventional style is simple and boring. You ask for contributions, scrutinize the articles, and print.

Innovation is embraced in the B-style. First and foremost, you decide with the co-editors what purpose the magazine stands for – profit-motive, popularity, social cause, editors’ ego-satisfaction (Ya, some magazines do prefer the articles of editors and their friends over better ones) etc. Next comes creating a code of conduct for the team of writers and correspondents to accomplish the goals of the magazine. This may mean rejecting an article which may spark-off popularity of the magazine but is ethically wrong. The ethics have already been defined by you in the set of values of the magazine.

The team with the best players usually does win. Your magazine attracts talent if it enjoys a good brand value, otherwise you’ll have to make a brand out of it. Let’s say you’re already a prestigious brand. This is one very fortunate case in which people may offer you services in lieu of almost nothing. But there lies the catch. If you don’t owe them anything on ground, you are not at the helm. In such a case, you can’t make them even maintain any standard, let alone raising it; unless you’re one hell of a dynamic leader whom employees look up to. So get your volunteers under your nose – either through felicitations, recognition or other incentives. Now that you’re ready with an efficient team – all atop the chariot, with you being the charioteer; everything seems so perfect. To be frank, the task has just begun.

No matter how well you assign different happening places to your correspondents and create different departments to cover the events of your region, you’ll always miss the most sensational news unless you have junta on your side. Ya, it’s the public which is present everywhere, ready with its inquisitive and peeping eyes to witness an event then and there. A good column of feedback calls for a good participation of public and brings your readers to your side.

Congratulations, you’ve come really far and received a dream-collection of articles. Duh-uh, copycats at work! You’re again in deep trouble. Believe it or not, most of the stuff you get is either the same or a modified version of something printed elsewhere. Your brand is in danger. Google everything up to make sure the contributions don’t get a match; show them to people who have seen enough – perhaps that’s all you can do to save your face apart from taking a written affirmation from the contributors about the authenticity of their submissions. Now that you’ve got the package ready, one reason of a misfire may be failure in the race against time. Make time your friend and you’ve got a brand new issue of TFE rocking the wings and common rooms of the hostels and the departments of the campus.

More than anything else, the duty of the top management of any organization is to find out and eliminate the probability of possible misfires that can take place. – Tushar (Ex Coc. As. Sec. IIT Madras)

After those serious talks, let’s come over to some behind-the-curtain scenes. The primary job of an editor is to beg for contributions. On beholding cute girls, IITians are known for rolling-out their tongues with droplets of long-cherished saliva trickling down. Your first duty as a TFE editor is to beat that in-built crave for the rarer sex with your voracious appetite for long and nonsensical articles. Such literary masterpieces not only leave a reader dazed but also perform the holy job of filling out more and more pages of your magazine. Fortunately, the editors are adept at vomiting out unpalatable groups of words that do not make a complete sense. Therefore, ghostwriting articles for filling out the void pages of their magazine comes naturally to them. Apparently, some of the editors have won nominations at the Guinness World Records for ghostwriting the maximum number of literary works in an Asian language (ref: TFE Hindi Jan ’07).

Jokes apart, a magazine is not a representative of the mindset of its editors or some small bunch of correspondents. It is a mirror of the readers. Especially a campus magazine is the face of the quality of education and values bestowed upon its students by the institution which has its name inscribed on the cover of the magazine. But a proactive participation of readers in bulk is necessary to testify that. This article is certainly not intended to serve as a clarion call for the hidden budding writers roaming around the campus. It is also not meant to fill up void spaces of the magazine, perhaps ;). It is just a way of expressing my gratitude to Windows and Gates for the wonderful support they have given to my writing career by giving me Word. Pun is so much fun, indeed.

Monday, July 02, 2007

iCon


Steve Jobs

THE GREATEST SECOND ACT IN THE HISTORY OF BUSINESS

By Jeffrey S. Young & William L. Simon

Steve Jobs - the name itself sparks off a series of flashes in your mind. All the revolutionary products of Apple find their seeds sown by this charismatic personality. Believed to be an outstanding speaker having a huge crowd of followers, Steve Jobs has always promised his fans thrills and excitements more than ever before in his public launch ceremonies of Apple's products. His style of work is simply mesmerizing. Let's have a look.

One of his employees:
We would have these management retreats at spectacular resorts. There would be a couple of days of meetings and at night we would open the bar and dance until we dropped. This wasn’t like working.

His vision has always been much ahead of times and that's what makes him one of the fore-runner leaders of the tech-world. He wanted people to realize what wonders computer can bring to the world of animation and here's the reaction:
When people saw [the Pixar computer graphics short] Luxo Jr., they said,”Oh, this is what computer animation is all about!”

Everybody wonders what makes someone so eligible to be considered as the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. Here's something to take note:
Steve Jobs gets his face on Time magazine, he’s loved by Wall Street. He’d be a perfect guy to take over Disney.

Steve has always come up with new slogans to instill the right dosages of enthusiasm and commitment into his employees. No wonder he is an HR manager to die for:

Insanely great.

Let’s make a dent in the universe.

The journey is the reward.

Let’s be pirates.

This is going to be huge.

Beyond the box.

Reinventing apple.

Think different.

Failure expands your consciousness.

Steve's inspiration? Lend your ears to “Imagine” by John Lennon.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Cute Quote

A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life.
-CHARLES DARWIN