Beautiful

One of the most beautiful things I've come across recently http://www.jaagore.com/main.php

TOI Front Page

Apropos "Chillax! You're at the insti", it is indeed baffling to see an article on a topic like this on the front page of the esteemed TOI. In times when the whole nation is alert with an anti-terror helpline and children are being inspired by the death-defying and death-embracing feats of our brave cops, who in the whole city can be interested in knowing what dialect some geeks at Adyar use to communicate with each other, unless it is some form of obfuscated secret code that some anti-terrorist squad disguised as IITians uses to track the crime incidents in the city? The power of the front page lies in reporting news that awaken the readers. A trend or lifestyle article capturing a few hundreds of students which does not affect the rest of the city or the country in any way can rest in peace in the rest of the pages. A bunch of IITians is no substitute for page 3 celebrities that often land up on the first page too. It's an embarrassing comparison, perhaps, both ways. If the readers like to see a mixed bag on the front page, there are other promising initiatives going on in the green land of the geeks which they find worth pursuing.

- Someone at the insti

Yesternight's GTalk Status

काली रात की कशिश
कवि की कल्पना
कहीं स्ट्रीटलाईट की चकाचौंध
कहीं कलियों का सपना
क्यूं बंद नहीं होता
पलकों का झपकना
कम्बख्त नींद नहीं आती
क्या कोई जाग रहा अपना

- कबूतर-कबूतरी-कवितायें@टाईमपास.कॉम

Cute Quote

Alcohol is not my cup of tea. No, I don't drink tea either.

- VIRGINEER TO HIMSELF IN A PUB. HE CAME HE SAW THE MENU PRICES HE RAN AWAY.

Feel Good

Two years of investment and I have got that feeling of being able to think creatively on the sands of leadership and management. More specifically, I have focussed on personal management, team management, and leadership, both by example and by HR tools. The learning process involved reading the best stories and applying some of the best practices with new toppings. Recently, for the first time, I could get tasks done by a team instead of ending up doing myself. Throughout the thinking process till now, I have been following some principles that emanate right from the heart. Gut needs trust to thrive and so I believe in those unproved clouds of thoughts. Yesterday, I came across a wonderful bestseller and the book had it all the same. It just cut open my core and showed me how to value it more. It's called 'Seven Habits of Highly Effective People'. Highly recommended. The first spark of thought on reading the masterpiece is that the right path is indeed the right one. And then there is a whole series of sparks which, when connected together, form a lightning of effective living. That lightning brings all the wishes to life. Oh, btw, the right path is the one that one's mind chooses in conformity with one's conscience.

Reading a book can be a different experience when your experience levels are different. I believe there are right times to read a book similar to the sayings that mean there are right times to do the right things or right things happen at the right time. Had I read this book two year ago, I would have slept in the first ten pages. But now every statement reminds me of something that has happened already and I can relate the habits perfectly to life. Now I know why an MBA needs prior work experience.

Someone Special

Today is Twelfth of May and it is no big deal. It's not because nobody great was born or shot today. Remember, for once, remember for all, the Eighth of May and forget only to remember it again for today I shall introduce to you someone so special that you just can't imagine your life without him. Let him go out of your days and nights and one-third of your life is just an internship in graveyard. Ladies and men (you don't have to be gentle do you?), I feel immense pleasure in presenting to you the most creative geniuses of all times - Mr Dream.

Ask yourself who is the most intimate person in your life with whom you have shared your bed and I bet it has to be Mr Dream. Ask yourself who has been entertaining you since the beginning of the show called life with new and captivating plots of various genres including drama, horror, thriller, romance, fantasy and what not and it is him. Ask me who is the single most proven source of all inventions and innovations by mankind and I shall quickly google it up to tell you that it is Mr Dream. So, with due respect and gratitude, I invite Mr Dream to say a couple of words before you. It is a gentle reminder to all the readers to switch off their cellphones, close any pop-up windows and remember that today is the Eighth of May. And now, the man says.

Mr Dream: Hi there. Seems to be quite a lot of time since we met the last time, almost 7-8 hours for the early risers. I am a really shy person and hence meet you all individually in total privacy and not as a matter of any policy as such. I was wondering what to talk about today before our regular meeting at night when Virgineer contacted me and finally I stumbled upon an emotion of gratitude. I don't know how you will take this but yes I do play dice everyday before meeting you to decide about the kind of emotion to be depicted in your nightmares. So, it is gratitude for today.

I would like to thank all those who made this soporific regime of mine possible and contributed in any way to increasing my fan-following. First up, I surely owe to all the teachers and professors across the world. Cheers people, you have made me what I am today. Even the insomniacs of the third degree find peace during your lectures. Thanks a ton. Next, I would like to thank the Governments of all the countries of the world. Three cheers for all the Presidents, Ministers and Governors who have been behind the erection of Public Sector and Government Offices. It seems more like a sleep hospital during the day and the amount of medical research that has been behind it must be praised. The idea that one can get the best of naps only during duty-time is simply a crack. Last and the least, I sincerely thank all the politicians, public-speakers and test-cricket organizers who have contributed immensely to the sleeping activities of people through the ultimate tool of boredom.

By this time, most of you would have already started dreaming. For those of you who haven't, I've more. The art of dreaming doesn't just lie in surrendering yourself on the bed. It is guided by your aspirations, fantasies as well as impressions of your life on your mind. The suggestion from my side is - dream big and dream long. Not for your sake but mine. If possible, convert your dream into reality for the real world to fantasize even more, else you can accomplish it all in my virtual world anyway. By the way, I'm trying these days to merge the two dimensions and let you dream while you are conscious. The project is aptly known as Second Life.

Tapti Nite 2008

Koffee with Kreativity

What is creativity?

Sitting in a state of the art conference room flooded with white light and surrounded by one of the most creative minds of the IIT Madras illuminati, including the learners and the learned, the passing outs and the passed outs, and veterans of technical and literary orientations, I was posed the above question. I picked up one of the wonderful toys deliberately kept on my table and started playing with it. It was a four-inch wide paper roll stuck on a stick which grew to four feet every time I jerked it. I was aiming at the specs of my teammate. The word creativity was flying in my mind like a bee foraging for nectar. I was wondering if this process of coming up with the definition of creativity itself could be termed as creativity.

After a rigorous brainstorming session, my team stumbled upon a juncture with a whole chart paper of notions and emotions concerning creativity. It was more than 50 minutes already. Tim & Andy, the instructors of Know!nnovation, rang the bell and called for a definition from each team.

First up was the team of the Profs, followed by Prof’s team. The team of Professors came up with so exhaustive a definition that I witnessed the realization of how the Nobel Prize jury had felt when Einstein released his paper on relativity. None of those present had a clue. But all clapped in unison. What followed was a captivating performance on the platform by the next team and this was what they presented as their definition – ooh, aah, aaee, gwazf,, some body twists and unseen expressions. My turn arrived and I read from the chart paper – Creativity is the art of churning your pool of thoughts and siphoning-off the cream. Innovation is applying that cream on a cake. Poor me - for vague reasons, I was asked to repeat my definition twice for the audience to find it digestible. Perhaps nobody cared to think beyond once cream and cake were served. Thought for food, you see.

The KI workshop went on for 4 days and after all the prescribed dosages of fun, the best part of the exhilarating experience wasn’t the official ticket to escape from the MOSFETs & BJTs any more. Initially, it was the transition from daily classroom pilgrimage of soporific activities to appreciating my consciousness which was unbelievably working in the wee hours of morning. Within two tea-breaks offered to let our delicate minds relax, most of us could realize that the next few days were going to be very different from how we had expected our stay in IITM to continue.

The two keywords of the sessions were ‘Diverge’ & ‘WIBNI’. To quote Andy - when you diverge, you defer judgment. For us, it meant that we were free to bring any idea from mind to mouth without stopping for brain. By the time we were introduced to WIBNI, we were already proficient in making up sentences like Wouldn’t It Be Nice If… our classrooms have bean bags. WIBNI we can speak better English than the Tarams Cycle Repair guy. WIBNI Guru serves Maggi within two minutes. WIBNI Pacino comes and whistles at my speech. WIBNI BTPs & DDPs are written by Profs and guided by us. And the much shared vision – WIBNI NIFT & IIT have the same campus. The best part of the Creative Problem Solving workshop was the demonstration of how free thinking and free sharing of thoughts can do wonders for any team playing, read working, together.

A team is like an orchestra. Every instrument lets the other know what it is doing, and they do it in sync. An intriguing question posed in the workshop was – What makes you creative? Prompt answers - Bright light, toys, music, yoga, meditation, friends as teammates, freedom, empty space, open space, nature, inspiring quotes, innovative objects, bog, and sex (could be with oneself).The complimentary question was – What deters you from being creative? Instant replies – Google, Google & more of it.

Let’s try a hand of creativity at writing. Say, we are confronted with a question like this -

Q. What qualities are essential to be a good trainer?

One line of thinking is to break the word into pieces and try to have some pun in life. The other may be to map an altogether different world to the given realm. Say, we break the word trainer to get train. And the world to be mapped is a kitchen. Here we go –

A good trainer, apart from being well-versed in the subject of training, needs to be affable and amicable. He should be able to connect with his trainees and maintain a spontaneous flow of his knowledge and experience while exhibiting patience and exuberance. Given all the above ingredients, the dish appears to be perfectly cooked and served hot. Taste it and you will instantly yell, “Where’s the goddamn salt?" That salt is wit.

A good trainer is like a train. He needs to come to halt where his trainees don't understand. He should end the day's journey when the trainees are exhausted. He needs to work at the right pace in accordance with the grasping speed of the trainees. He must blow the whistle as and when needed to enforce discipline. Like a good train, a good trainer is punctual, and takes the passengers to the destination safely!

A good trainer is always open to feedback and changes his way of teaching accordingly. Teaching is an art and a good trainer understands that art is not just a dry means of communication but an expression in style, often pleasant and interesting.

On a personal note, creativity is something which you do for yourself; it’s like your hobby which rejuvenates you. After all the storms in your brain, the spasm ends up in some sort of orgasm. On the contrary, innovation refers to something feasible, sellable, marketable, applicable, or tangible. Creativity & innovation share the same knot as idea & product. Innovation is for others to take away. It’s completely for the masses, those at the receiver’s end. Innovation yields something in kind.

The researchers of these fields have devised quite exhaustive theories and friendly processes & tools such as CPS, TRIZ, SCAMPER, SIMPLEX, 4Ws & H, ASIT, MIND MAPPING, BRAINSTORMING, and the list goes on. The idea is to identify the one that suits your team and adapt it to your weather conditions instead of adapting your team according to a standardized process for creativity has personal preferences and varies quite a lot with individuals.

The atheists (including me) would argue - Man cannot create but just discover and the Universe has only one creative force, the divine one. The fact remains that it doesn’t even matter. Whoever created it, the person who brings it in front of the masses is the one who is worshipped and is the one who is crowned ‘creator’. Bon Creati-vetti!

Holi kab hai, kab hai Holi?

I hate Holi. Seriously. What is Holi? Isn't it a mere reason to lose the monotony of the colour of your skin, the same skin that marks your identity - black, brown, white (in alphabetical order, albeit any palpable bias is not deeply regretted) or anywhere in between. The colour of your skin can make you a teeth-and-eye-guy, a tree-trunk, a tubelight or, in some cases, even a God (ref: Hindu Mythology). May I take this opportunity to submit that it's the same attribute of your personality which has won races around the world known by different names like 'Formula A for Apartheid' , 'Tubelight Burden of Fight Club & Rude yard fame' and 'Gehuan the wheatish complexion - a mystery en route'.

Coming back. Holi. Why Holi? What in the world can be a justification for the humongous amount of dye, paint, grease, mud, cow-dung, other forms of shit, tap-water, tank-water, hand-pump water, well-water, tub-water, bucket-water, rain-water(try spending Holi in Chennai), drain-water, and all other variants of the colourful and the colourless being wasted on a mortal human? Isn't it a mockery of the serious research going on in the Chemistry Labs of IIT Madras (ref:Bhaand) that one-mile-long-molecular-formula-chemicals are being used just for fun? And that too in such huge dosages!

Where Holi? The toughest part of the byzantine problem is that Holi can be played anywhere in the world - air, water, land, outside home, inside home (better talk to your mom before this one), on the street, on the roof-top, on the water tank (ref:Dharmendra and his chakki), forests, grasslands, deserts (if carrying a pot of water for kilometres is not Rocket Science for you), and even in India( ya, sometimes people play it here, although not so enthusiastically in the northern parts of the Asian country. Or is it the other way?). So, with so many choices, this festival confuses your intellect and thus I say, my comrade, that it's better to hate it. Hate it for else you will fall in love with it till death. Hate it for the people hiding during the mad festival will hate you more for tearing their undergarments and throwing them into mud.

Moving on. How Holi? It's one of those cases where hands do a good job and you know that a good handjob is illegitimate in the country. Again, the instruments used in the sling operation resemble banned diagrams of human anatomy and the misuse of contraceptives as balloons has caused a great increase in the percentage error of Say-no-to-AIDS statistics.

Who Holi? Considering the undeniable fact that only fun-loving, enthusiastic, and lively people can play it, Holi fans overlook the question - what will the chickens do meanwhile? Hiding their asses and donkeys in some isolated corners of hostels and a marathon run when caught is all they can do.

'nuf said. I hate Holi. You are free to do the same. Thank you for being on my side.

Issued in public interest: Clean Holi Green Holi!

Killer Instinct

All characters depicted in this purely fictional piece of literature are completely imaginary. Any resemblance to any entity living, dead, or anywhere in between is utterly deliberate!

GeeCe¹, 1907 hours. A Mercedes E240 screeches to an abrupt halt. The security guards completing their afti-dharma² gain consciousness at once and adjust their uniforms while running towards the entrance of the Central Library. The students pleading to academic babus for the reconsideration of their rejected application letters for the Cultural Secretary elections stop looking for Rs 50 currency notes in their wallets and turn around to see across the street. The Dean’s black yoRoto³, provided by the Government of India, rings.

Virgineer⁴, the student-spy of the Dean, is drenched in sweat, panting, and extremely impatient as the phone rings for one full minute and his call remains unanswered. He redials on his new Nokia Express Music won in the Head-Banging Contest at the Saarang Rock-Show. To his relief, he is answered this time. The identification code ‘Hail CGPA’ is pronounced at the other end by a familiar voice and Virgineer knows that he is talking to the right person. “Hail CGPA! Sir, there’s a bad news. She is dead.” “What? How? Where?” “A car accident. In front of the library.” “But she… did you take her to the hospital?” “She died on the spot, Sir.” “Who did it?” “The driver ran off.” “Oh! Holy…” “There’s something more to it, sir. The car is a royal blue Mercedes E240. And the number says TN 23E 9964. It’s yours!” “It’s all pre-planned… a conspiracy against me. Update me as soon as you get more information.” “Right, sir. Hail CGPA.” “Ya, ya.” Cut.

The news spreads faster than fire in the forests of IITM. All the editors of The Fourth Estate, the in-house publication, come up for an urgent meet with the other Writeous Penheads⁵ of the campus and prepare pamphlets and posters for a massive student-body protest to be held tomorrow.

With two murders within two days, the Dean has no alternative but to avoid the phone calls from notorious students demanding a mourning holiday. Virgineer had earlier informed him that Idi, a security guard of Sharavati, the girl’s hostel, was missing at the time of the three murders, albeit he had arrived for the evening shift as per the records. The Dean, seeking to tighten his grip over the case, calls the CCW Office and, to his astonishment, is told that Idi is currently on a one week vacation to his village. The Dean realizes that he is drifting towards the losing end.

Meanwhile, Virgineer discovers new evidence. The villagers relent to open-up and report about a monkey, as big as an adult man, attacking black bucks for the last three days. To probe further and forage for more clues, he decides to go for an extensive search in the jungles at night. The night manifests darkness blindingly in the absence of the moon. The trees sway as wind gushes through them beside the crystal clear water of the lake. Long hours of courage in the camouflage finally bear fruit and Virgineer finds an ID card. It reads – V.G. Idichandy, Dean, IIT Madras.

Virgineer is dumbfounded. His indignation surpasses his boiling point. Within an instant, he decides to confront him.

Dean’s Office, 0400 hours. “How did you come, sir? In the same blue Mercedes? Oh, how dumb I am! It’s now all red. Blood red, isn’t it?” “Control yourself, Virgineer. You can’t accuse me.” “Give me one reason why I can’t accuse you. Believe me, I’ve plenty of evidence to prove things, you know.” “Are you trying to tell me that I don’t care for the killed?” “No, right now, I am trying to tell you that you have killed those who you were supposed to care for. The IITM campus that boasts of its prized reserve of black-bucks, has lost three adult ones, one of them being a pregnant female. So that makes you a murderer of four. Quite a performance, sir.” “I don’t need to justify myself in front of you. You are free to think whatever you want. Why should I bother when I’m not guilty?” “May I ask you where you were at 7 pm yesterday, sir?” “7 pm. 7pm? I was…I was…can’t remember. I can’t remember. I was sleeping!” “Enough. I’m going straightaway to the Police. Goodbye. To hell with CGPA!”

The Dean leans upon his table with his head bent down. There is a sudden rush of wind across the room and a closet opens. A sealed envelope flies from the Dean’s desk and falls in front of Virgineer. He turns to see where it came from and sees a security guard’s uniform and a monkey costume hanging in the closet. He tears open the envelope to read a Medical Report which says –

Dear Mr. V.G. Idichandy,

The diagnosis report of SCID-D has confirmed the symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder in you. Kindly report to the institute hospital immediately.

Thanks,
Dr Shanti Pavan
Psychiatrist, IIT Madras.

GeeCe¹: Gajendra Circle, the central intelligence unit of Geeklandia, also known as IIT Madras.

Afti-Dharma²: Nap-on-duty in the afternoon.

yoRoto³: Rotary dial telephone.

Virgineer⁴: : A spyware identified by the matrix as the virgin engineer who has not even touched any girl, circuit-board or machine's internals.

Writeous Penheads⁵: Rioters who debate whether to write as a rite is right or wrong.